


Sentimentality

by artenon



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2014-08-01
Packaged: 2018-02-11 07:37:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2059554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artenon/pseuds/artenon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Pacific Rim AU]</p>
<p>Axel said he wasn't going to pilot a jaeger again, but Saïx always gets his way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sentimentality

**Author's Note:**

> finally fishes this fic after 5000 years...
> 
> i wanted it to be longer but it just wasn't working, so i wrote it as 5 snippets instead. there's so much going on behind the scenes haha.
> 
> i love pacific rim AUs so i hope you enjoy this short little thing.

1.

“We have to reach the boat!”

Axel started to turn and grunted as he realized Saïx wasn’t following him.

“Saïx, come on! The boat!”

“Our priority is the kaiju.”

“Dammit, Saïx,” Axel hissed. “Don’t you want to save them?”

He clenched his hands into fists and Saïx mirrored the movement. They glared at each other for only a heartbeat before Saïx relented, neither of them saying anything as they swung their jaeger around.

“Thank you,” Axel sighed.

Saïx didn’t reply, but he didn’t need to. They were completely in sync now, no more need for talking as they cut through the water, heading for the stranded fishing boat and away from their post.

“Alright,” Axel said after they’d scooped the boat up and deposited it someplace safer. “Now let’s—”

He broke off with an alarmed shout as the kaiju rammed into their side. Teeth drove through layers of metal, tearing into the jaeger.

“Saïx!” Axel screamed, and his mind was empty, empty, empty.

 

2.

_See me immediately._

Axel stared at the message on his datapad screen. It was a pleasant morning greeting, really. All it was missing was the ‘please’ and ‘after breakfast.’

He rolled out of bed and contemplated going to breakfast anyway, but he knew he wouldn’t get away with it. He never got away with it.

_Not like he’s gonna punish me even if he does catch me_ , Axel thought, but when he exited his room, he turned toward the marshal’s office anyway.

“So,” he said, sauntering into the room without bothering to knock, “what’s so important your poor errand boy can’t even eat breakfast?”

From where he sat behind his desk, Saïx did nothing more than to raise an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, you’ve got company,” Axel said blandly, noticing the blonde kid standing beside the desk.

“Axel,” Saïx said. “This is Roxas.”

“Hey, kid.” Axel waved. “Nice to meetcha.”

Roxas looked at him, then at Saïx. “He doesn’t look like much.”

Axel straightened up. “Hey! And what’s that supposed to mean?”

Saïx ignored both of them. “Axel, Roxas will be your new copilot for the Glory Blaze.”

“Um, did I hear that right?” Axel brought his hands up in a stopping motion. “Wait a minute—”

“When’s the last time you piloted?” Roxas asked, crossing his arms, and Axel opened his mouth.

“About five years ago,” Saïx cut in. “With me. Roxas, you are dismissed. I will speak with you again later. Axel, remain here.”

Roxas stalked past, staring at Axel the whole way, and slammed the door shut when he left.

“What do you mean, ‘copilot’?” Axel burst out. “I’m not piloting again!”

“Yes, you are.”

“Says who?”

“Says the Marshal,” Saïx said, leaning forward.

“Don’t pull rank on me, you bastard, not you,” Axel growled. “I can’t drift again. Not after last time.”

“You can, and you will.”

“Also, he’s a _kid_.”

“He’s eighteen, and he graduated from the Jaeger Academy, same as everyone.”

“He’s eighteen, seriously? He’s tiny.”

“His height is irrelevant.”

“But I don’t get it,” Axel said, pacing. “I haven’t piloted in over five years, and you’re pulling me back in now? I’m sure you can find another copilot for him.”

“I need someone with experience, and so does Roxas,” Saïx said. “I’m ending this war, Axel, and soon. I don’t have time for a team of rookies.”

“Then get Sora or something, that kid is compatible with anyone.”

“You know Riku can’t drift with anyone else. Axel, I know what I’m doing. This isn’t a careless decision. The only one who can do this is you—”

Axel stopped and slammed his hands on Saïx’s desk. “I don’t want to be in anyone else’s head! I don’t want anyone else to be in _my_ head.”

“While I appreciate the sentimentality—”

“It’s not about sentimentality, asshole. When you were ripped from the drift—that messed me up, bad.” Leaning forward as he was, Axel could now see the large wheels attached to the sides of Saïx’s seat, shattering the illusion that he was merely sitting at his desk and not—not confined to a wheelchair. Exhaling, Axel straightened up and crossed his arms, trying to regain his footing. “I can’t do it again, especially not with some kid I don’t even know. Besides, how do you know we’ll even be drift compatible?”

“Because,” Saïx said, calmly meeting his eyes, “I know you.”

“I don’t want your vague, bullshit answers.”

“Do you want to end this war?” Saïx asked. “And stop living in fear?”

Axel hesitated. “Well, yes, but.” He sighed. “I always figured I’d end it with you, you know?”

“Sentimentality,” Saïx muttered, and Axel smiled wryly at him.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“I’ll still be with you, telling you exactly what to do.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Axel snorted. “But it’s not the same.”

“We can’t get everything we want, but as long as we still get our happy ending, isn’t it enough?”

Saïx was smiling a little, soft smile that made Axel’s heart clench, and he blurted, “I love you, you know.”

“I know. I’ve been in your head.”

“Yeah, and I’ve been in yours. Are you ever gonna say it back?”

“I can’t right now.”

Axel pushed a stack of papers out of the way and sat on top of the desk, ignoring Saïx’s disapproving look. “Do you really think not saying it is going to make it hurt less if I don’t make it out alive?”

“Something like that,” Saïx whispered.

“Damn,” Axel sighed. “Guess I can’t die, then, ‘cause I sure as hell don’t plan on going before I hear you say it.”

Saïx smirked at him, and Axel smiled. Saïx wouldn’t kiss him yet either, he knew, but when Axel reached out his hand, Saïx interlocked their fingers and squeezed.

“Then I will look forward to your safe return from a successful mission, Ranger.”

 

3.

Axel was seriously Not Impressed by Roxas. The kid was the very picture of _arrogant hotshot_ , and he boasted about his record on the jaeger simulator as they got in position for their test run of Glory Blaze.

“Yeah, well, just remember that real combat is nothing like the simulations,” Axel said.

“I know that,” Roxas said haughtily. “It’s you I’m worried about. You’re out of practice.”

“I can’t believe Saïx picked _you_ ,” Axel said.

“Gentlemen,” Saïx intoned.

“Sorry, sir,” Axel said, rolling his eyes.

“Sorry,” Roxas muttered.

“Listen, Roxas,” Axel said, feeling (kind of) bad for Saïx. “We’ve got to trust each other, right? That’s the only way this is going to work. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve piloted a Jaeger, but I know what I’m doing. Usually. And Saïx picked you, and I trust him, so I’m going to trust you. Got it?”

“...Yeah,” Roxas said.

Saïx cleared his throat. “Okay, we’re initiating the neural handshake in three…”

“This is a bad idea,” Axel muttered, and then he was being pulled into the drift.

There were flashes of memories from both of them, but Axel didn’t feel tempted to latch onto any. He knew what was in his own head, and he didn’t care what was in Roxas’s; he didn’t need his life story, only his trust—and he was surprised to find that, beneath his cocky attitude, Roxas was _earnest_ , and willing to trust his life to Axel, if only so he could join in the fight. He could sense Roxas in his head, curious, a little wary, and he suppressed a shudder, because it’d been so long, and it was weird having a foreign presence in his head. Saïx had never been a foreign presence. He’d always belonged.

But they could work together. Saïx had been like a balm to Axel, but Roxas had a fire that matched his own, and it was new and sort of exhilarating.

_How do you even know we’ll be drift compatible?_

_Because I know you._

He supposed Saïx did.

The neural handshake was successful, and they synchronized with the jaeger.

_That was way different than the simulations!_ Roxas’s excited voice echoed in his head, and Axel started.

He and Saïx had never explicitly communicated through the headspace between them. They were so in sync with the abstract sensations they each permeated, they’d never needed to. Also, it was just weird to hear someone else talking to you in your head.

_What are you thinking?_ Roxas asked, a touch defensively.

He had to stop comparing Roxas to Saïx.

Roxas was young and inexperienced and scared and excited and only about half as arrogant as he pretended to be. He was determined to fight and save the world and make it out alive and _I’m thinking this just might work ou_ t, Axel replied, and was rewarded with a burst of excitement and pride from Roxas.

 

4.

Infirmary beds were equally as uncomfortable as bunker beds, but the infirmary lighting was harsh and glaring, which was how Axel knew he was there and not back in his cramped bunker when he woke up.

“Yeah, I’ve definitely missed this place,” he rasped as he pushed himself into a sitting position.

He gave himself a quick pat down and determined that he had no external injuries. He’d probably just knocked out from the mental strain. If only he could remember.

“Good morning.”

Axel turned and saw Roxas sitting on the bed beside him with a book open on his lap.

“Did we win?” Axel asked, because he was too embarrassed to admit how relieved he was to see Roxas in one piece. “My memory’s kinda fuzzy.”

“Told you you were out of practice, old man,” Roxas said, smiling, and Axel stuck his tongue out at him. “But yeah—we won. Well, it was Sora and Riku who closed the breach. We just defended them.”

“Guarding their backs was still one hell of an important job,” Axel said as he dropped back onto the bed. He yawned. “Anyway, now that that’s over, I can sleep for like ten years.”

“Don’t you have something important to do?”

Axel cracked an eye open. “No? I think saving the world qualifies me to retire for life.”

“Yeah, that’s not how it works,” Roxas said. “But I meant more...personal business.”

“Not following, but I’m sure it can be taken care of later,” Axel said, waving dismissively. He had a well-deserved nap with his name on it. Never mind the fact that he had just been sleeping for an indeterminate number of hours.

Roxas huffed. “Don’t you want to see the Marshal first?”

“Oh, shit!” Axel sat up so quickly he nearly fell off the bed. “I have to see Saïx!”

“I am so glad I never have to be in your head again,” Roxas said. “Your feelings for him are all over the place. It’s kind of embarrassing.”

Axel decided to ignore that particular comment, and he hopped off the bed. “Good job, kid,” he said, ruffling Roxas’s hair. “Maybe I’ll treat you to dinner later. ‘Congrats, you saved the world, have a steak’—something like that.”

Roxas squirmed a little, batting his arm away. “I figured you’d be done with an arrogant kid like me. There’s no reason for you to hang out with me anymore, after all.”

“‘Course there is! We’re friends, aren’t we?” Axel put his hands on his hips and tilted his head at Roxas.

“We’re friends?”

Axel really didn’t know how Roxas could be both a cocky little shit and an adorable kid at the same time, but there he was, looking at him with bright, hopeful eyes, and Axel scratched the back of his head, embarrassed.

“Well, yeah?” You didn’t just drift with someone without coming out of it with an unbreakable bond.

Roxas smiled at him. “Can we have ice cream for dessert?”

Axel gave his head another quick pat. “Sounds good. Maybe I'll even introduce you to my favorite flavor—sea-salt.”

 

5.

000:00:00:00

That was what the war clock said. No matter how long Axel stared at it, the timer didn’t start again. It was over. He didn’t have to brace himself for another kaiju attack ever again.

He’d been walking to the marshal’s office, but seeing the war clock had left his knees weak, because he’d _survived_. Sure, there’d been close scrapes along the way, some far too close for comfort, but it was over now and he was alive, and he could be with Saïx—

“There you are.”

And there was Saïx, right on cue. He’d always seemed strangely in sync with Axel, long before they’d ever drifted—no, not strangely. Fittingly.

Axel spun around and leaned down to hug Saïx without preamble.

“It’s good to see you, too,” Saïx said, stiff and awkward, gingerly patting Axel's back.

Axel clung to the fabric of his coat and buried his face in Saïx's shoulder. “You don’t have to distance yourself anymore,” he said, voice muffled.

Saïx let out a long, drawn-out breath that shook his entire body, and his arms settled heavy and warm around Axel's back.

“There’s still much work to be done,” Saïx said.

Axel pulled back enough to look at him, and gave him a watery smile. “I promise I won’t die from all the paperwork you’ll inevitably saddle me with.”

“Well,” Saïx said, “in that case.”

And he tilted his head up to kiss Axel.

“I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! <3


End file.
